W. C. Fields Quotes
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.